The Memoirs of Cordelia Chan

My mother came out of hospital a week later, and I returned to the apartment. Staying with Bill and Alice in the sticks had been okay for the first few days but then I got bored and started missing the hustle and bustle of China Town. I was also missing my friends.
In an effort to alleviate my boredom Bill had let me into his den, and I‘d stumbled across a few books on the Samurai and Ancient Japan. It was one of these that had contained the story of a demon duel.
I‘d spent the last few days reading these and had become fascinated by their supposed powers, which were akin to some of the Shoa-lin abilities but strangely different. Once home with my mother I‘d started searching for other Martial Arts schools.
It was about three weeks later, after a class, where I‘d been knocked down a few times, because I hadn‘t been paying attention, that my Sensei, noticing something was up had asked me what was wrong. Initially I didn‘t want to say anything for fear of offending him, but eventually he coaxed the story out of me, and of my fruitless attempts to find a Dojo that taught the skills.
He then did something that took me completely by surprise, he laughed. "Come with me" he said " and I will show you."
We left the Dojo and boarded the subway, getting off a couple of stops later. After walking about a block, he stopped and pointed, "May The Ancestors guide you. I will inform your mother of where you are."
He gave me a gentle push in the direction he‘d pointed and I started walking. The building was definitely Western in origin, although somebody had attempted to turn the ground floor entrance into something reminiscent of a Japanese Ryokan. I opened the door and went in. A class was in full swing, with a white male in his late 30‘s leading it, and an old oriental gentleman sitting cross-legged on the dais as if in meditation.
After a couple of minutes, the class leader called a halt, and walked over. "You seem too young to be a messenger, so you'll be wanting directions somewhere"
"No." I said "I want to join the class."
He started to laugh, so I swept his feet from under him, and rendered him unconscious before he hit the floor. There were murmurs from the rest of the students and the old man stood up. He looked quite agile, despite his apparent age, and the class backed to the edge of the room as he moved to the center of the floor. "Come here child." he said in a firm voice.
I approached warily and stopped about 3 feet from him. He bowed, never taking his eyes from me, and I did likewise.
"Let me see what you have learned child." he said.
I had learned enough to know that attacking in anger was a bad move, so I controlled myself and moved to attack. I attacked cautiously at first, but after he easily blocked the first combination of punches and kicks, I moved to full combat mode
The next attack caught him a little by surprise and he only half blocked it, his expression never changing even though I knew it must have hurt him. The rest he blocked, at first with a little difficulty and then with ease. Then he started to attack back. The first few counter attacks I managed to block, but then came a flurry I half blocked before the world went black. When I came to, he was kneeling over me with his hands resting gently on my head. I could feel a strange sensation as if the world was at peace. He stood up and then offered me his hand. As I stood he took a step back and bowed again. Despite my rising anger, and desire to attack him again despite the likely consequences, I bowed in return.
" You have learnt much child, but there is great anger and great potential in you. You must learn to control the first to achieve the second. Come here every Tuesday and Thursday at 10pm and I will teach you. Go now for I expect your parents will be worried about you."
For the first time in my life I was speechless. My mouth moved but no words came out. Eventually, I managed a "Thank you Sensei" as I backed away. What is even more amazing is that for the first time in my life I really meant it.

The first year under Sensei Toguwara‘s tutorage was just about the most frustrating year of my life. The first hour of each session he would do nothing but teach me Japanese, and in the second, by which time I was fuming, he would do nothing but try and teach me to meditate.
After 6 weeks of this I‘d had enough, and exploded, calling him all sorts of names, and making all sorts of complaints about not learning anything, and then stormed from the room. I turned up at the next session, as usual and sat down expecting a lesson. He carried on as if I did not exist. I sat there for the whole two hours outwardly silent inwardly fuming. This pattern repeated itself the next session, and the next, and the one after that. By this time I was beginning to think that it was all over, that I‘d blown it and he would never speak to me again. My mother had also realised something was wrong because this time she had waited up for me. "Are you in trouble" was all she said, when I got in.
"No" I replied
"Then what is it"
I spilled the beans on what had happened, and she smiled at me. "It‘s the hardest thing in the world to do, to say your sorry."
I could feel the tears welling inside me as I crossed the room and hugged her. "I‘m sorry, I‘m sorry, I‘m sorry" I babbled between sobs. She just hugged me and stroked my hair.
The next session at the Dojo went somewhat differently. I had bathed, washed and plaited my hair, and put on one of my silk dresses - I hated them and only wore them when I had to for festive occasions. I had also purchased and carefully wrapped a tea service as a gift, and arranged for a cab to take me to the Dojo. When I entered the Dojo, I crossed the room and knelt by Sensei Toguwara, head down. When he spoke, I said " I am sorry Sensei. I am not worthy of your time. Please accept this in gratitude for the time you have already spent with me."
I waited until he took the gift and then said "May I go now Sensei. I will trouble you no further"
He smiled, "Sit a while child. Tell me what you have learned. "

The rest of the year passed without any other significant incident. Tuesday and Thursday evenings were spent at the two Dojo‘s.
I would go and fight at Sensei Chen‘s for two hours, shower and change into a silk dress, and then go to Sensei Toguwara‘s. By the end of the year, I had a basic fluency in Japanese and could hold a light meditative trance for half and hour. I had also started dating Choy, with my mother‘s knowledge.
One the evening of the first anniversary, it being a Tuesday, I had gone to Sensei Chen's and then to Sensei Toguwara's. As had become usual in the last four months he greeted me in Japanese (by this time virtually all our conversations were in Japanese, and I had started to learn to read and write it as well).
" Good evening Miss Chan. Behind the screen you will find attire more suitable tonight's lesson. From now on you will arrive attired in the correct manner. You will also join the classes at 7pm on Fridays and Mondays. You will continue to come here on Tuesdays and Thursdays. "
I knew better than to argue, and crossed to the screen. Hanging behind the screen were two Gi. The jacket of the first, which was black, had a Celestial Dragon in Silver and Green on the back, whilst the leggings had Buffalo on each calf. The second was plain and purple in colour. A single red obi hung next to them. I stripped off my dress and put the purple Gi on. It fitted perfectly.
Crossing to the center of the practice area, I bowed to Sensei Toguwara, and thanked him for the gift.
"You chose wisely, but now you must earn the right to wear it." he said.

The first few weeks on the new routine were, hard going and my school work began to suffer. My mother delivered me an ultimatum, either my school work returned to it previous standard or I'd be banned from going to the Dojo. I knew the choice had been coming, and I sacrificed my friends instead, well all except Choy that is. Things had started to get intimate between us although I hadn't actually slept with him yet. I knew several of my girlfriends had slept with their boyfriends but I wasn't ready yet. However Choy could no be put off for much longer. In the end I managed to postpone it to Thanksgiving, and gave myself to him as his present.

Another year passed, with me tolerating the Friday and Monday classes, filled for the majority with American boys with no talent, loud mouths, and money. After a few months I had asked Sensei Toguwara why he held the classes (he never taught at any of them) . His answer was "The American is too stupid to know where true power lies. They think their money buys them power, but they are too stupid to even look after that. If they cannot look after it, then I will take care of it for them."
I later learnt that very little of the money the Dojo took was spent, either on it or on Sensei Toguwara's house. Most of it was used to support two orphanages, one in New York and the other in Nagoka, where Sensei Toguwara was born.
The classes became more tolerable after that, and by New Year (Chinese New Year that is) I was teaching the latest intake. What really made up for the classes were the one on one sessions with Sensei Toguwara. Most of the year was spent on unarmed combat techniques, but shortly before my 16^th Birthday he had started to teach me to use the Bo, Jo, and Keibu. The class also became more interesting about the same time when Katsumi Isikawa joined. He was 3 years older than me, and had previously studied Aikido in Japan. He'd come to America, to study Earth Sciences at Cornell, and his Aikido Sensei had suggested he seek out Sensei Toguwara, and study under him whilst he was here. In the following two years he also did a more than a little studying under me.

My 16^th year passed peacefully with Sensei Toguwara slowly adding weapons to the training schedule. My reward for turning 17, was to be allowed to exercise with a Katana or Wakazashi, although all training was dome with a Boken or Keibu or both once I started to learn Daisho. I maintained, B+ grades in school and sent off my College Applications. I got and passed interviews for Scholarship places at both Berkeley and MIT and accepted Berkeley. On my 18 ^th birthday Sensei Toguwara gave me a Shingasu Daisho and Katsumi a traditional Kimono, a set of Kanzashi and a pair of Kogai. My mother had given me her surprise a few weeks earlier.
It had been a normal school day until early in the afternoon. We had arrived at Mr. Brooks class to be met by the school secretary. Mr. Brooks had been taken ill and there was no one available to take the class. We were therefore allowed to go home. I had initially gone to the library, and then gone home, arriving home about three quarters of an hour before I usually did.
I could sense something was different as soon as I walked in the door. I could smell incense and there were clothes on the floor of the hall. I removed my shoes, and closed the door quietly. As I moved into the living room I could hear my mother moaning in a very distinctive manner. Curiosity outweighing decency, I crept across the room and peeked through the half open door. My mother and a gentleman friend were obviously enjoying themselves. Curiosity satisfied, I crept back across the living room and down the hall. I opened the apartment door and put my shoes back on. I heard my mother gasp loudly and slammed the door, throwing my school bag so it landed loudly down the hall, walked into the living room, switched the TV on, and then went into the kitchen.
The coffee jug was about half full, and I'd put out three cups, and some cookies on a plate when my mother, in one of my nightshirts, joined me." How longhave you been in?" she whispered as she came up behind me. "Long enough" I replied. She blushed.
Just then her gentleman friend entered the kitchen, having hurriedly dressedhimself.
"Gulong, this is Li Feng, although she prefers her western name, Cordelia. Cordie this is Gulong"
"I'm honoured to meet you. Would you like coffee or tea?"
"Tea. Thank you."
He sat down at the opposite end of the table to my mother, as I shuffled about the kitchen making tea. When he'd entered the kitchen I was sure he was about to say something along the lines of "Look I'm sorry but I've got to be going " but by offering him refreshments, I'd made it very difficult for him to do that. He appeared to be in his middle twenties, was quite good looking, and well muscled. I could see why my mother had been attracted to him. As I made the tea I made small talk, and unconsciously started flirting with him, that is until my mother said "Li Feng, stop that at once, you're embarrassing me."
He appeared not to understand Cantonese. I smiled at my mother and poured Gulong's tea subserviently, which got me another rebuke, but he had failed to notice the significance of the action. I then poured hers in the same manner.
She just about managed not to giggle and in the process started to choke on the cookie she'd been eating. Gulong looked concerned and I asked her if she was okay. She managed to nod. I poured myself a coffee and sat down. Gulong drank his tea, and asked me about school, which college I was going to, and other such mundane things in life. As soon as it was polite to do so he excused himself, and I remained in the kitchen whilst my mother showed him out.
As soon as I heard the door close, I moved to the living room, slumped onto the couch, and flipped through the TV channels till I found something vaguely interesting. After a short while my mother came and sat beside me. "So exactly how much did you overhear?"
"Only the last minute or so."
She blushed again. I leaned over and hugged her. "He obviously makes you happy and he seems quite capable."
"Well, he's improved a lot in the few weeks I've been seeing him."
"Oh?". It was my turn to be surprised. I shot her a questioning look.
"A woman should know how to please a man, and in return a man should know how to please a woman. Doesn't Katsumi please you?"
How she knew about him I don't know. "Sometimes" I replied.
"Perhaps you should teach him"
"Teach him what exactly?"
"Oh. There are techniques"
"And?" She had sparked my curiosity now
"I could teach you if you wish. My mother taught them to me, and her mother taught her."
I looked at her quizzically.
"I need to bathe. Perhaps you should join me"

After our bath she gave me a book. It was bound in leather and ivory and had parchment pages. It was beautifully hand written and illustrated, although some of the writing had started to blur in places due to age and use. It wasn't written in either Chinese or Japanese but in Hangul. " Everything you should know is contained within its pages. I can teach you only so much. The rest you will need to learn for yourself. I will teach you to read it before you go to college if you wish."
So it was that I learnt to read Hangul, and in the process learnt a few more things besides.